Work work work work work.

I love my job. I think I have a great supervisor and our team – my supervisor, another trainer, and I – work really well together. Actually, I have gotten praise recently because the attendance at the free classes I teach has increased since I started working two months ago. I am trying to revamp the curriculum and learn as much as I can about training at the corporate level.

When I’m not working, I am helping at the church with the high school youth group and I am going to be meeting two Korean girls from my alma mater to practice speaking Korean and help them with adjusting to the States and speaking English. I am also taking violin lessons again, because I miss playing violin in orchestras and might start playing at church occasionally.

This is all great. I am busy, I’m not depressed anymore, I am having fun.

But…one thing. I barely ever write.

I have had this idea for a novel since I was in Korea…but I can’t get it organized. I get home from work and have almost no energy, so I have started to go to Starbucks in the evenings instead of in the mornings before work so I get a caffeine boost and have a place where I can focus. I am trying to organize backstories and plot but I can’t get enough momentum going.

I am thinking I have to make a schedule. I should write for at least two hours a day. I would put a word limit goal on that …but I don’t think it’d be realistic.

I am also considering trying to write some diary entries from the POV of characters who don’t actually show up in this first book but whose backstories are very important.

I really just had to write all of this so I can hold  myself accountable.

Occasionally I get caught up thinking how great it would be if writing was my occupation. I wouldn’t have to be stressed about work all the time. I would set my own hours and get paid to be creative and entertain others with my stories. Unfortunately, my writing probably won’t ever be that popular even if I do get published again.

Okay this post has absolutely zero structure. That’s all I really wanted to say. I guess I have to just write. That’s all there is to it. I just keep getting caught up with stress from work and exhaustion. But write I must.

FT Island…Culture Shock Cure

I miss Korea. But it doesn’t mean I can’t stay connected.

I have decided to be a conversation partner for students from my university. I might have two Korean friends soon.

Staying connected to Korea = best reverse culture shock cure yet.

What I Miss

The people I was close to. The things we did on the weekends. Going to parks, shopping, festivals. I still keep connected with them, but it’s not the same as living there with them. 😦

The Post-Korea Effect – what you might not know about how your brain will operate when you get to America

1. You will be obsessed with age.

I haven’t ever cared about who is older than me, who is the youngest at work, who should be addressed with a degree of respect. But I became obsessed with age in Korea because…well…Koreans are obsessed with age… I was the youngest teacher at work, and there were expectations. I had to be respectful. I had to be cute.

At bars or parties, Koreans always asked how old I am. You can ask anyone…it’s really not rude. Older folks might jokingly not answer you, but they don’t get offended that you asked.

Here in the states, though…nobody cares! I forgot about that. My boss hired me and another trainer around the same time so we all kinda work as a team. The first time I met the other trainer, I was like “I think we’re around the same age! How old are you?”

Realizing that was blunt, I said, “Oh, sorry, it doesn’t really matter how old you are!” and my boss said, “There’s that Korea showing!” because she knows, obviously, all about my working in Korea. By the way, my coworker is way cool, so she didn’t mind telling me her age. She answered me like it was no big deal. But still, I’m gonna get myself into trouble if I keep asking people how old they are!

2. You will get sick from having too many sweets.

This might be untrue for people who don’t really try to immerse themselves in the culture. I had foreign friends who managed to have most foreign – i.e. Western – food while they were in Korea. I, however, am OBSESSED – OBSESSED, YOU GUYS – with Korean food. I love it more than American food. I still keep 고추장 [hot pepper paste] at home to make mixed rice dishes. I also usually have 김치 [kimchi] and other side dishes.

I didn’t realize, though, that Koreans aren’t much for sweets. When I was there, I stopped drinking milk-based coffee drinks, because they just didn’t make them very well. I had iced americanos every day. I didn’t add milk or much sweetner. Usually I didn’t have any desserts aside from 팥빙수 – a shaved-ice dessert with fruit and rice cake. Compared to American sweets…it just isn’t sweet.

So, I got back to America a few weeks before Thanksgiving and my family brought all these glorious pies and desserts. I tried a cookie and …maybe half a piece of pie? And I thought I was going to barf.

Ick.

3. You will miss hearing Korean.

If you’ve lived in Korea, you will get so used to hearing Korean that you will actually start to enjoy it. Maybe? I don’t know about everyone, but this was my experience. The language is totally cool and the inflections and the way people speak is fun to observe.

I got so used to saying thank you in Korean at all public places that I was still kinda saying it in America for the first month or so. The barista would hand me my iced coffee – with a weird expression because I ask for one pump of sweetner in a giant coffee and don’t want milk – and I’d go, “Kam-sa….I mean thank you.” and walk away awkwardly.

4. Bowing makes more sense than shaking hands.

Korean people definitely do shake hands in business settings and stuff – after bowing of course – but bowing is more common. In social gatherings when friends introduce each other, you say hello in Korean and bow.

Let me tell you all something… I. Miss. Bowing.

It makes so much more sense. I am definitely not a touchy-feely person so I – being the weirdo I am – would much rather bow than shake someone’s hand. I am also worried that I will shake too weakly in business settings and the boss or whoever will think I’m pathetic and unprofessional. That isn’t a concern in Korea, though. I can handle a bow.

Most Americans are baffled – at least at first – by the way Koreans interact with each other. It kinda seems cold and distant. But I prefer it. I think it’s more genuine. I didn’t have to act like I was close to someone I didn’t care about or didn’t know well. I didn’t have to make small talk. I didn’t have to shake hands.

But if you’re close to a Korean…that’s a different story. They are incredible friends and would do anything for you. And if you’re not close…sorry, but they’re not going to act like you are. It makes perfect sense to this girl.

5. Americans will look slobbish.

I didn’t realize how little regard the average American has for his or her appearance until I saw how beautiful men and women are in Korea. They’re fashionable and thin and gorgeous. Going back to the States was like going from Manhattan to a back-woods swamp village. People are in ratty jeans and sweatshirts at the supermarket or coffee shop.

I don’t totally disapprove of this. I know it is partially because I am in the south rather than some big metropolitan …and I realize that it is good to not care too much about your appearance and it’s the person’s personality that counts…blah blah blah. But. BUT. I also see the value in taking pride in your appearance and trying to look your best. I miss seeing cool fashions and men that looked like they stepped off a runway and onto the street. Korea is a beautiful place.

I still dress as I did in Korea. Currently, I am at a coffee shop writing this wearing designer jeans, wedge heels, a long black shirt, cardigan, and matching fashion scarf. I am also wearing makeup and jewelry. I am going to continue this even though my friends show up and ask why I look “so fancy.”

See how great everyone dresses?

That is my list for the time being, but I am sure I will think of other things to add.

What I Miss

The people I met randomly. Here I am with a bunch of guys who had just finished military service. They were Korean marines, and my friend – the one with longer hair – was in the marines, so we bought them celebratory food and alcohol when we ran into them on the street.

They referred to me as “noona” which is the Korean word for “older sister.” They were cute as can be.

“Oh my gosh, your nose is bleeding!”

Let me talk a little bit about my new trainer job and how it compares to my only other professional experience as a teacher in Korea.

I graduated from college and knew that I wanted to see the world before getting a “real job,” but of course, in order to do so, I had to have a job. I chose Korea, as frequent readers of this blog know by now, and started a job as an adult ESL instructor there. This was June 2011. I was a fresh-faced 22-year-old, completely oblivious to the ways of the working world.

Standing with my Chinese Zodiac animal about one month after arriving in Korea.

I was thrown into working almost immediately. I was told I’d have a week of training, but that didn’t happen. I got there, I was still jetlagged, I had no travel experience unless you count that one time we flew to Florida when I lived there in high school, and I was overwhelmed. I worked insane hours. 7AM-11AM, then back again at 5 to work until 9PM. I was tired all the time.

With my bosses. Yep, I’m quite tall. 5’11″ish. I looked tall in Korea.

The thing about working in Korea is that…it is apparently very unlike working in America. My bosses weren’t intimidating women. You can probably tell from the picture that they were sweet and liked me. But they were bosses. There is a big disconnect between boss and employee in Korea. Allow me to explain.

In Korea, the employee is in absolutely no way encouraged to give input. On more than one occasion, I or my coworkers would have an idea about how to improve something or other, and we’d share it, but nothing would change. Our bosses even got a bit…agitated? …if we tried to act like we had a good idea. They didn’t want to hear it.

Creativity? Ha. Creativity is not encouraged in Korea. It isn’t encouraged from a young age as it is here in the US. This means that everyone is very smart – meaning they know a lot of things – but they can’t innovate. It’s odd for a person such as myself who is so creative. We could suggest things and try to innovate or improve the place, but we were so rarely listened to. Only the most persistent among us could change the way things were done. [Hi, Stetson, if you read this. I am referencing those electronic evaluations, sir!]

Bosses can pretty much say whatever they want to employees. HR? …did we have an HR department? I have no idea. But I doubt it. My bosses told me to lose weight, wear makeup, that older male students would like me because I was cute. If I got upset about something, they’d tell me I couldn’t act angry because I was a young woman and had to maintain my “cute” image.

This “say anything” mentality continued when I was sick. I got severe tonsillitis and wasn’t allowed to take a single hour off of work. I, actually, got more classes than ever that week and was dealing with moving to a new apartment. The only time my bosses spoke to me was to tell me that I couldn’t take a day off and to say I could go to the hospital when I had a break so I could get a painkiller injection in order to speak. I was in so much pain and so dehydrated that I went home during each break and when work was finished in the evenings and bawled like a crazy person. But they needed to make money, and as long as I was there teaching, it didn’t matter what kind of shape I was in. The students were paying, so I was going to be there.

Proof that some of my students were sweethearts. See 3. haha!

Don’t get me wrong, I had some amazing students and really value that experience. But, the one weird thing it did was give me unrealistic expectations about working life. I got back to the US kind of…scarred? I took a month to recoup and then decided to start looking for work, but it was almost like I had PTSD. I had been so overworked that thought of working again sent me into a complete psycho panic. I kept thinking, “What if I get sick again and I have to drive all the way to work and feel sick and be sick and it will be horrible?” “What if I have bad hours and my boss is mean and everything is horrible again?!” “Will I have to sign a contract? Will they steal money from me like the Korean company did?!” [another story for another time.]

My mother kept assuring me that this wasn’t the case at all. One month unemployed was enough for me, though, despite my fears of the working world, and I signed up with a temp agency that is actually run through the company I work for currently.

I worked at a car auction for a week and then I was placed at my office. I worked with the facilities department, which was a great experience. I was just a temp, but everyone I met was kind and welcoming. I thought it was because this was my mother’s office, but apparently that wasn’t true. Everyone chatted with me, said good morning to me, et c. My supervisor didn’t hover. She gave me assignments and allowed me to accomplish the work at my own pace and with my own methods.

I got the opportunity, after working there for about two months, to work as a trainer at one of the company’s other locations. I was fortunate because the supervisor that hired me for that knew my history as a teacher. I wound up being offered that trainer job when I applied for a different job with the same supervisor. I was so excited, even though I didn’t actually get the job I applied for. I was thrilled to get to be a teacher again.

Working in the US…what a difference. I mentioned when I wrote about my temping that people were welcoming and my supervisor was not one to hover and micromanage and not encourage creativity. But there’s more differences.

My supervisor hired me because of my creativity. She wants me to work with the other member of our team to revamp the curriculum I teach and encourages innovation. I am constantly shocked to have my input valued. I think my boss is very approachable. I know that if I have a problem, she won’t mind my asking for help. We are also given a great deal more freedom than I had in Korea. I have trudged through torrential downpours and fallen on ice on the sidewalk in Korea, but when we had a snowstorm here this week, I was allowed to cancel my class and work from home. My boss trusts us to make judgment calls.

I don’t feel stressed about getting sick. After the tonsillitis thing, I was so scarred. I know, though, that my boss would let me work from home and get someone to teach my classes if I were so ill.

But, the habits from Korea live on… I am not accustomed to this working environment yet. I expect to be scolded and demeaned and I’m not. I often offer my opinions and creative input, but I get self conscious about it, almost as if I am expecting a bad reaction from my boss – though I don’t get a bad reaction ever.

And as far as getting sick…

I think from stress and/or allergies and/or dryness of where I teach, I got a nosebleed a couple weeks ago. A pretty bad one. I could have gone to the bathroom, taken care of it, and my students wouldn’t have minded. But I shocked them when I grabbed a tissue, shoved it up my nose and continued teaching as if nothing had happened at all.

I guess I would have to say that, while I value the experience I had working in Korea, it was two-sided. I wish I’d had a professional job here before going there, because I would have known what to expect with the one I have currently. But had that been the case, I might have had a hard time adjusting to working in Korea. I don’t know. Korea was a strange thing. I appreciate it so much, but it’s left me a different and somewhat odd person. I feel like I don’t quite fit here and I didn’t quite fit there.

I didn’t expect this post to be so extensive, but I hope it gave some insight into the Korean working world. I suppose some might think that’s interesting?

Why travel? – a writer’s perspective on seeing the world.

My neighborhood in Korea.

I cannot possibly stress enough what a difference traveling made for me as a writer. I have mentioned here before that it taught me compassion for others and taught me to be more independent…but it was so much beyond that.

Traveling abroad to a country as homogenous as Korea gives you the rare opportunity to bond with people you feel a sort of kinship toward – meaning other foreigners. It’s an interesting friendship, because I found myself becoming closer to the people I met there than I had ever been to most of my friends back home. I think it’s because you’re all going through the same thing and sort of have the same mindset. You all wanted to leave America for one reason or another and find yourself in this strange place where you get stared at and observed like animals in a zoo. There was something about the friendships I formed there that will stay with me forever. I don’t think it’s possible to form friendships like that here where I am American and so is everyone else.

I find this making it’s way to my writing and it’s fantastic. I think the relationships between my characters are much more real than they used to be. My current novel is about people with special abilities to see another realm that exists on Earth. They have superhuman abilities. Thus, I see their relationships with each other as very similar to my relationships with Americans in Korea. You bond because you have this common thing that the people around you don’t understand.

Interestingly enough, often you meet other Americans in Korea and judge them more harshly than you would back home. Maybe it’s that nerdy guy who you know is only there to get a Korean woman, or that girl who drinks and parties at the club every weekend because drunk in public isn’t against the law there. I met so many Americans there that I couldn’t stand. They kinda made a bad name for us, and it was frustrating.

This has made it into my novel as well. I have bad characters that should be good. The more people you meet, the more realistic your characters. It’s interesting, because I used to read extreme characters in novels and think, “That’s absurd. There aren’t really people like that anywhere in the world.” Then I went to Korea and met all kinds of people and realized that …I was wrong.

This was taken at my goodbye party the day before I left Korea. These were my closest friends and coworkers. Strange to think I’d have never met these amazing people had I not gone to Korea.

I think the most important thing traveling did for my writing though was to remind me that there’s something else beyond what I know. I often had these moments on the way to work walking past a bunch of people or on the subway where I’d look around and think, “These people have been over here living their lives and I never gave them a passing thought. I was practically ignorant to their existence.” It reminds you that everyone has their own story. I think this is vitally important to writing.

The smallest character needs to have his or her own story, whether your readers end up being ignorant to it or not. I think each character has motives and back stories and all of the things that make up a real person.

The thing is, I was told all of this in writing classes, but until I experienced it, it didn’t really make any sense to me. I got it in theory but not in actuality.

Thinking about all the people in all the countries around the world with their own hopes, dreams, and stories makes me feel so connected to everyone. It’s fascinating to think about, and I’m glad I got the chance to travel and experience it.

Travel.

Make yourself a part of those stories even if you’re just that American they passed on the street earlier today. See how other people are living. Gain understanding and perspective.

[Here I am making kimchi – a traditional Korean dish – with some awesome Korean grandmas…all of whom were born in North Korea. They went to South Korea during the war.]

Thank you, Korea – Being home, being happier, being employed.

So, my last entry was decidedly depressing, and I took a bit of time off from everything. The month of January was not a great one. I was working 8 hours a week as a temp and making just 70 dollars a week. Thank goodness for my parents, because I have a place to stay and food thanks to them, as well as a great deal of moral support.

At the beginning of February, things started to change. I spoke at a TESOL class about what it was like to live in Korea. I was asked by a woman at the office where I was working to cover a training class for two weeks because the other trainer had left the company. I got a second interview for a job at that office – and the woman who had hired me those two weeks would be the one I interviewed with.

It was a stressful but wonderful couple of weeks, because I was asked to continue the trainer job I had been asked to work at for two weeks. I am now working for a nonprofit organization that helps people get the skills they need to find a job. I teach people who haven’t used a computer or who haven’t used one in quite some time. I travel to many different locations during the week and meet interesting people. I actually feel like I am making a difference in their lives. They leave my classes saying they feel more confident, happier. I am so blessed.

I was thinking about Korea today, as I often do, and I realized that it was because of Korea that I had the confidence to do any of this.

I decided to write a thank you to Korea.

Dear Korea…

Thank you for helping me realize I want to help others. – The best thing about my job in Korea was getting to know people, hearing their stories, and helping them with their English so they could improve their quality of life or get a promotion, et c. When I was asked to teach here, there were no nerves, I had no qualms. I said yes, absolutely, got in front of that classroom, and taught. I was home again.

Thank you, Korea, for helping me be more compassionate. – I have always been empathetic, but Korea taught me to have compassion for everyone. Being in another country means seeing the way people who are so different from yourself are living. It can be scary, unnerving, disturbing, uncomfortable, confusing…but after all of that, you’re left with compassion for others and a better understanding of the fact that we are not so different after all. 

My students here are mostly unemployed – some disabled, many elderly, some with more serious problems – and they are people I care about and want to help. Had I not developed this compassion after living in Korea, I don’t think this job would be nearly as fulfilling as it is.

Thank you, Korea, for teaching me to get close to people. – I have always been a bit standoffish when forming friendships, but I am so happy to meet friends now. I have met great people at work, and I look forward to getting to know them better.

Thank you, Korea, for hurting me. – I love Korea and I love the people I met there, but it was…by no means…an easy thing to do – living there, away from everything familiar. Korea hurt me. I was insulted – told I was fat, that I should wear makeup, that I was too tall. I wasn’t allowed to take a day off work when I was seriously ill. I ran out of money often because my company was short changing me. I was so emotionally drained that I cried several times a week. I had a boyfriend who abused me emotionally. I was alone.

But all of this has made me so incredibly strong. It wasn’t until I took charge of my life here and stopped wallowing in the past that I began to see this strength. I am tougher than I have ever given myself credit for.

…and finally, a funny one. Thank you Korea…for teaching me to appreciate a forty-hour work week and two day weekends! I was so overworked in Korea that I was sick most of the time. These days, I finish my work at 4:30 or 5, go home and…that’s it! Then on the weekend, I get to rest on Saturday AND Sunday! It’s amazing! I am so happy!

Thank you dear Korea, for making me who I am.

Reverse Culture Shock and other difficulties

Before going to Korea, I took a TESOL teaching class to prepare myself, and my teacher was amazing. She talked all about traveling to other countries and learning new cultures, and then she talked about something that I will admit, I didn’t believe. Reverse culture shock.

Now…culture shock makes perfect sense, right? Specifically in countries that are so different from your home country, which Korea was for me. I prepared myself. I learned phrases in Korean. “안녕하세요! Amber 입니다!” I read about the culture, I made Korean friends. I was probably too prepared, because I never had any culture shock there.

The real culture shock happened when I got back to the US. I obviously should have listened to that teacher, but I just didn’t see how going back to your home could be difficult. But it is. You see, I think because you try so hard to fit into another culture, it’s weird to go back. You feel like a foreigner in your own country, and it’s worse than feeling like a foreigner in another country. You think, “No, what’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way. This is my home! I don’t understand!”

The first month I was back was brutal. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I barely wanted to see my friends, I was uncomfortable around everyone.

But, I was bored at home. In Korea, I was in a big city with tons of stuff to do at any time of day or night. Then suddenly I was back in Virginia suburbia wondering how I ever survived in such a boring place before. The only place open twenty-four hours is the gas station? What is this madness?

The second month wasn’t easy either. I continued to feel uncomfortable around people. Then, my boyfriend and I broke up, and I felt that my connection to Korea was cut off. He was Korean, and my first love, and my best friend all rolled into one great guy. But it wasn’t working long distance. This threw me into what felt like another reverse culture shock. I didn’t have him to talk to anymore, I was incredibly lonely. I didn’t have many friends in my town, because I was shy in college and knew I was going to Korea, so I didn’t get close to many people. I felt so alone. This continued through Christmas, when my mother came upstairs to bring me the phone so I could talk to my grandma later that evening and found me in tears.

Being in Korea was big for me. I was so shy and awkward and closed before I went, because I had had extreme anxiety for all of middle school and high school and some of college. I felt, when I got back, that all of the change I went through in Korea – becoming more confident, learning to be close to people, falling in love – was for nothing.

I was spiraling.

My imagination, the thing that has helped me as a writer for so many years, was suddenly my worst enemy. This is when being a writer is the worst. I began imagining every horrific, disturbing, irritating, irrational, absurd thing that I had ever heard or seen. I was making myself sick. I was depressed.

But the strange thing about being a writer is that times like these can be great for writing. Obviously, I’d rather not be depressed. But I have been using my writing as a distraction, something positive. I have started a new novel, and I am so thrilled with the characters and have actually be successful when plotting! It’s unprecedented! haha.

The new year arrived at exactly the right time. I’m working at my mom’s office part time, and I am having a good time there, because the people are so nice. I get to be productive and meet new people, so I am feeling better around people again. Not quite normal, because I was a recluse for so many weeks, but better.

Goals for this year include the following.

• Get a job that I enjoy, preferably one where I help people. Counselor, teacher, human resources.
• Write novel, edit novel, attempt to publish novel.
• Try to play violin again. I have signed up for lessons with my teacher from high school, and I am hoping to be able to play in the orchestra in my city.
• Be more involved at church – Bible study, maybe playing violin sometimes.
• Get a car.

My biggest goal, though, is to not be so hard on myself and get so upset about everything. I was strong enough to travel to Korea and survive on my own, so I can be happy here, too. I don’t think Korea was for nothing. I think I need to remember that I won’t be perfect and try to relax a bit.

Here’s to 2013.

There will be a post about my new novel soon!

Writing About Real Life?

I have always been all about fiction. Fantasy, normally, but I have written other types, as well. I wrote a piece that was published locally about a high school girl who gets panic attacks. I wrote a story for my first ever creative writing class about a girl who discovers that her brother is really her half brother from an affair her mother had before she and her father were officially married. I have tried mysteries and horror stories and comical stories.

But I don’t write about anything real.

I want to rephrase that – there is reality in fiction. In order to make it worth reading, you need real emotions, things people can relate to. But the story itself is usually almost entirely untrue. I don’t like rules, and fiction doesn’t have any, so I’m good.

But…writing about myself? Nonfiction. Narrative?

Goodness gracious, no. Gag me. I never do anything interesting, right? What do I have to write about? No one would care.

Or would they?

I took a nonfiction creative writing class in college, because I needed more elective credits to get my English degree and had taken all of the fiction courses except poetry, and I hate poetry. I respect poets, but I don’t want to read poems, let alone write them. Poetry frustrates me as much as math does, and I have been known to cry because of upcoming math tests…in my high school days, I mean. And maybe in college, too. Maybe.

Therefore, nonfiction writing was what I had to take. I signed up with a friend or two so it wouldn’t be too terribly painful, and they were friends from my fiction class who also didn’t write much nonfiction if I remember correctly. Awesome, I thought, I won’t be the only one struggling.

Well, let me tell you…I really fought against this class. I was determined to dislike it. I didn’t want to put any effort into it. I wanted to get all of the assignments over with. Similar to math classes, again, but the difference was that I actually did the homework for the writing class and pretty much never even tried math homework.

First we had to write a review of something…a movie or book. I chose book, and I hated writing it. I didn’t care about the feedback I got during workshop, and there was one girl in my class who acted like the queen of nonfiction just because she ran an unsuccessful website. I didn’t like nonfiction, but I didn’t want some girl I barely knew acting like I knew nothing about writing.

Whether it was the competitiveness in my spirit – when it comes to writing, I don’t want anyone to act like they know more than me – or maybe I just finally embraced the type of writing we were learning, but I got much more enthusiastic about the final two papers we wrote.

The first was supposed to be a step-by-step guide to something. I decided to write one about becoming a super enthusiastic fan of Korean pop music. Success. My class thought it was hilarious – and it was supposed to be. I wrote about the silliness of the music and videos, which is really what makes it so wonderful to being with.

The last paper was my biggest triumph, though. It was to be a personal narrative…and I think those were the only specifications. I chose to write about a Korean guy I met on a language sharing website that I had been friends with for two years and who I would meet when I moved to Korea that summer. It ended up being twenty-two pages, and I remember apologizing when I gave it to my class for workshop. I felt bad subjecting them to over twenty pages of writing when they had other homework.

Wow…though, when they returned with their comments on my paper, everyone was so excited. One girl told me she read snippets aloud to her mother and even got teary at some parts. The response was better than I could ever have imagined a response to my writing could be. Yeah, people enjoyed my stuff in our fiction writing classes, but that was fiction. I already knew I could write fiction. I had no idea I could write nonfiction.

The reason I’m writing about this is because recently my grandmother suggested I write a book about my time in Korea. She reminded me that I already had practically enough material…I had kept a blog in Korea, and it was actually quite well-received. This isn’t the first time I have had someone suggest this to me, though.

I tend to look at the world in a strange way, which I think is important for writers. My strange way comes in the form of comedy. I had some hilarious, awkward, embarrassing experiences in Korea, and I think they would be enjoyable to read about.

But here’s my problem.

I have never taken on a project this long that is not fiction. Are the rules different? I know that fiction plot lines move in an arc, but real life doesn’t. It’s just a bunch of events strung together. Where do I start? I don’t want to start when I’m on the plane or arriving in Korea. Boring! I need to be interesting. Then there’s the old standby question – will anyone give a crap about anything that has happened to me? Will people be able to relate to me?

But my source of motivation right now is people like Mindy Kahling – see previous post – who are just honest about who they are and what they’ve done. I started reading her book and it’s hilarious. I hope that I can write something that people want to read. Who knows, maybe I’m meant to write nonfiction. Though, it frightens me because it’s so personal. People can say they hate the main character of my fiction novels, but if they say that about this one, they’re saying they hate me.

Hm. Things to ponder.