My younger brother graduated from college this weekend. Our family is the four of us – Mom, Dad, brother, and me. He is the baby, the last one of our unit to graduate. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He was so successful these past four years at a rather prestigious university. He is going to do great things, I’m sure of it.

Things are changing, as things always do. I remember watching my mother interact with her siblings when I was younger and I couldn’t imagine things being that way. Each sibling has their own life, their own family. They see one another a few times a year – on holidays and special occasions. I couldn’t – and maybe still can’t – imagine this with my brother, probably because he and I are so close. I have a special relationship with him because so many of our interests are similar. We have our own language – as family members like to say. He is my best friend.

And yet, I am watching him talk about applying to jobs in different states. I am realizing that things are moving toward what I saw with my parents growing up. We’re going to be separate, we’re going to have our own lives, and where this scared me before – it doesn’t anymore. I’m actually excited about it. I’m excited to see what he’s going to do, what he’s going to be. He’s an amazing person and I’ve had him for twenty-two years, so it’s only fair I allow the world to see what I’ve seen all along. He’s going to do so much good.

The thing about graduations is that they make me think about my future – whether it’s my graduation or someone else’s. I was always working toward something…always had some kind of goal. Graduate high school…graduate college…go to Korea…get a job back home in the US…

But, then what?

Career-wise, I am in a wonderful place – a better place than I ever imagined. I love what I do and I get paid enough to have my own place and live comfortably. I don’t know what else I could possibly ask for.

Yet, recently, oddly enough, I have been asked by my boss, my father, and a few others about what’s on the horizon. I am baffled by this. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where I want to go in my career because I’m still surprised that I’m twenty-four and doing as well as I am. How could I say I’m thinking about promotions and making more money when I almost feel like any day my boss will wake up and realize she meant to hire someone older and wiser than me?

So for the past several weeks I was wandering around at work thinking I hadn’t a clue what I was going to do about my future…then I realized that I have had a goal all along. I want to get a book published.

Being around those graduates today – all of them full of hope about their future – reminded me that being happy with where I am doesn’t mean I don’t have goals and something to work toward. I have been writing every day and carrying my notebook and taking voice memos with my phone when I’m driving to remind me about any ideas I have for the book. I love my characters and I hope others love them, too. I’m almost 13,000 words into it – tens of thousands to go – but I’m excited about it. I’m living in my fantasy world for the first time since the last book I wrote.

Knowing this is the goal makes work even more fun. I look forward to my writing time all day. I daydream about being able to support myself with my  writing. I am thankful that my parents fostered this creativity and didn’t ever try to tell me I should be focusing on something more practical. My mother is my biggest writing fan and she makes me believe that I really will publish something someday. She reads my stories with great enthusiasm – as though it’s an exciting book she picked up at the store.

This weekend was wonderful. I am a proud big sister, a thankful daughter – happy mother’s day! – and happy to be passionate about my writing.

I anticipate many writing-related posts in the future.